bloominbabylonfic: (Xmas -  It's Santa!)
[personal profile] bloominbabylonfic
Title: Red Candy Christmas
Pairing and/or additional characters: Eric/Orlando
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: language, smut, fluff, tiny smidge of barely there angst.
Disclaimer: Right, totally happened.

Summary: Eric plans an escape before he and Orlando have to fulfill family Holiday obligations. Orlando just wants to stay home.

A/N: Written for [ profile] taz34 for [ profile] slashylotr_xmas

December 10th

“A party? Is it for a charity?”

Robin waited a few seconds before answering. When Orlando raised his eyebrows in a silent challenge, she said, “No, a producer’s party. But it’d look good for you to be there.”

Orlando snorted sarcastically and threw his fork down, scattering pieces of his salad across the table. It wasn’t as if he needed more publicity, especially the type that came from being at the party of some Hollywood producer.

The world and the paparazzi hadn’t forgotten him. Over a year since his last movie and he still couldn’t make a move without some photographer sticking a camera in his face. His choice in boxers was plastered all over the internet just a few weeks ago. Wearing pants that fit is what would be good for him, not an appearance at a Hollywood party.


“But, Orlando-”

“No!” Orlando shouted and tossed his napkin on top of the table. “I don’t mind the charity stuff, but anything else is out of the question. Where are my fucking keys?” he mumbled and stood up, patting his pockets.

“Orlando,” Robin tried again.

“For the last time. No. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve seen Eric for more that a day? Had an actual conversation with him?” Orlando’s voice had climbed in volume as he became more agitated. Robin looked around nervously. “And I bloody well live with him!”

“Shut up,” Robin hissed. “Do you want someone to hear you?”

“I don’t fucking care anymore,” Orlando said, still searching his clothes for his car keys. “Christ, he probably thinks I’ve fucking left him. Or for all I fucking know, he’s left me!”

“Calm down. Let’s talk about this rationally.”

“No.” Finally finding his keys in his jacket pocket, Orlando said “Tell whoever no.” and he walked away from the table. About five feet away he stopped, turned and went back. “And don’t schedule anything until you hear from me.”

“Orlando, wait. Sit down, let’s-”

“No. Happy Christmas.”

Orlando walked out of the restaurant.


He absentmindedly chewed on his thumb as he drove. He’d call Robin later and apologize. Maybe. She did work for him after all and if Orlando wanted to take time off, that was his business, not hers.

He’d worked, almost constantly for the past five years, busted his ass. It had been wonderful, everything he’d dreamed of, but a year ago, Orlando had begun to think he was missing out on something and he started refusing film offers. He needed a life outside all the fantasy; he needed a life with Eric. The life they’d been trying to build for close to five years.

Too much of a homebody, Eric never usually took more than one film a year. And he made sure that once In Celebration finished its run, he would be free as well. Orlando had refused all offers after the play, without even looking at them. They’d planned on disappearing for at least six months, longer if they could get away with it. But, not a month had passed when Eric received the first of many offers that he just couldn’t pass up. He tried, but Orlando insisted that he take them.

Orlando had visited Eric on location, but it was hardly a substitute for a home life. With Eric gone, he had more time on his hands than he had in years. He visited family and friends he hadn’t time for since Fellowship of the Ring premiered. He was able to work with several of his favorite charities and made trips to Nepal and Russia for UNICEF. Rewarding as the work was, his charitable obligations interfered with being with Eric.

And now, finally, Eric was home, he was home and in a little over a week they had to leave for Sydney for Christmas.

He’d had a hideous argument with his mother because they were going to Australia for Christmas first and wouldn’t be in London until after New Years. Almost certain that his mother had been fine with their ‘every other year’ plan when he and Eric were in London on Christmas day last year, he wasn’t sure now what the problem was this year. It made him uneasy about how their visit would go. There was nothing to be done about it and he could only hope she’d calm down by the time they arrived. But it was one more thing adding to Orlando’s anxiety and keeping him from a good nights sleep.

Orlando loved the holidays, loved being with Eric’s family and his own, but this year, he wouldn’t have minded staying in LA and locking himself and Eric inside their house.


Orlando found Eric exactly where he thought he would, in the garage on his back lying under one of his cars. This time, it was his midnight blue 1980 Porsche 844. He stood for a minute, listening to Eric sing, loudly and badly and smiling as Eric’s foot tapped out of time from the music.

“Hey, grease monkey,” Orlando called and nudged Eric’s calf with his foot.

With a quick push against the car frame, Eric slid out from under the car. “Hey there.” He wiped the sweat from his face with his forearm, leaving a smudge of grease from his forehead and down his nose. “How was lunch? What did Robin want?”

Orlando leaned on the Porsche, watching Eric try to clean up and making a bigger mess of himself. “Some party she thinks would be good publicity.”

Eric didn’t quite catch his frown in time.

“I said no.”

“Sorry,” Eric said with a guilty smile. He hadn’t been able to hide his reaction very well this morning either when Orlando told him about his meeting with Robin. He’d been home less than a week and Orlando was already running off for meetings.

“I was just hoping for time alone with you before we do the family thing.” He pulled Orlando into his arms and kissed the top of his head. “I’m glad you said no. Your Dad called.”

Orlando burrowed his face into Eric’s chest and made a ‘humph’ sound.

“He said your Mum was out of line.” Eric was quiet for a minute, resting his chin in the top of Orlando’s head. “Said to not worry about her and he’d see us on the 30th.”

Another hmph sound.

“Bean called too. He’s having some kind of party.”

“His wife doesn’t like me and I don’t feel like pretending I like her.”

“She’s just jealous because you’re prettier than she is.”

That got him a giggle. Progress.

“So, we have about twelve days before we have to be anywhere, right?”

“Mmmmm,” Orlando burrowed tighter into Eric’s chest.

“How about we go away for a few days? Go up to Tahoe.” Eric kissed the top of Orlando’s ear. “Relax a bit before we leave for Sydney.”

“Can relax here.” Orlando tensed slightly in Eric’s embrace. He really wanted to stay home as long as they could. Didn’t want to risk having to share Eric with anyone. “Tahoe is close to a six hour drive.”

“Part of the fun. Come on,” Eric wheedled, excitement building in his voice. “Think of it. Making love, relaxing in front of a roaring fire, fucking, skiing, making love, ordering room service, fucking, drinking and making love some more,” Eric whispered in Orlando’s ear.

That did sound good. Really good. Orlando couldn’t remember the last time he and Eric had sat down to real dinner or conversation or when sex was more than a quick blow job or hand job.

“Does sound brilliant,” Orlando agreed and yawned again.

Eric started walking Orlando backwards into the house. “I’ll take care of everything, you just be ready to go tomorrow morning.” He stopped at the stairs, looking up them then down at Orlando. He was practically asleep in Eric’s arms.

“You’ve already made reservations haven’t you?” Orlando smiled knowingly.


“Not too early, yeah? ‘Mtired.” It came out all slurred together and made Eric’s decision for him.

He carefully picked Orlando up and carried him up the stairs. He laid Orlando on their bed, pulled off his shoes but left his clothes on when Orlando sleepily bitched about Eric tickling him. “Take a nap,” Eric whispered and kissed him lightly. “I’ll wake you for dinner.”


The next morning Orlando walked out of the house, bags in hand, and saw the Porsche pulled out on to the driveway.

“We’re taking the Porsche?” Orlando asked tentatively.

”Oh yeah,” Eric responded, enthusiasm filling his voice. “Been a long time since I’ve taken her out and opened her up.” He saw the skeptical look on Orlando’s face. “Why?”

Orlando bit his lip, holding back a comment that would surely start an argument. “Because,” he said cautiously, “yesterday you said, and I quote, ‘That car is a piece of metal shit held together with spit and band-aids.’”

A look of horror spread over Eric’s face. He petted the car’s hood and murmured lovingly to it, “Not true, girl. I did not say that.”

Rolling his eyes, Orlando said, “Can we take the land rover, please?”

“No, it’s the Porsche. Get your ass in. I did a tune up and replaced a bunch of hoses and belts while you were at your meeting. She’s running like a dream.”

He eyed Eric suspiciously, but climbed in anyway. Eric tossed their bags into the trunk and got in the drivers seat, smiling broadly at Orlando who was fidgeting in his seat and grumbling. “Why do I always give in?”

Eric put his fingers under Orlando’s chin and tipped his face up. He kissed Orlando gently and whispered, “You don’t always give in. Sometimes, I give in.” Orlando was still frowning. Not as much as before the kiss, but Eric kissed him again and again until Orlando was smiling. “You give in because you love me.”

“I do,” Orlando chuckled. “And it bites me in the ass every time.”

“Nope. That’s me, baby.” He winked and turned the ignition key. The car started with a soft rumble that settled in to a low purr. “See?” Eric said proudly.

“She does sound a lot better,” Orlando smiled.

Eric’s mechanical skills never ceased to amaze Orlando. Neither did the frequent explosions that went along with those skills. But more times than not, Eric did fix his cars or whatever was broken. He leaned against Eric’s shoulder, “Let’s get going, yeah?”


The gold sign with black lettering read The Roman Honeymoon Suite.

“You are fucking kidding me.” Orlando’s face screwed up further than it had been, making a bigger scowl. “The Honeymoon Suite? And what the hell is a Roman Honeymoon Suite?”

“It’s all they had,” Eric muttered, fumbling with the key card.

Orlando stalked past Eric and into the suite. He flipped a light switch and peered around the room.

“Jesus,” Orlando mumbled as he looked.

It was a red and gold nightmare.

Except for the ceilings, which were mirrored, and the carpeting which was white, almost the entire room was red with gold accents. A blood red crushed velvet couch sat in front of a fireplace, a white bear rug, complete with a roaring head lay in front of it. Orlando’s eyes tracked across the shag carpeting and over the ruby colored curtains to the other side of the room to a huge round bed, draped with a crimson velvet duvet with gold trim. A bar sat in the middle of the room, complete with red leather bar stools.

Eric stood in the middle of the room, mouth open, caught between laughter and horror. Orlando followed Eric’s gaze to the ceiling, expecting to see a glittering disco ball. Instead, a multi-layered crystal chandelier with ruby colored crystal hearts hung there.

“Nice,” Orlando muttered and flopped into the nearest chair, a white leather creation that looked like it had come out of Liberace’s garage sale.

“It’s not too bad,” Eric said softly, hoping to diffuse Orlando’s bad temper.

Orlando didn’t even look up at Eric. He just pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled. Eric moved toward him.


“Just go take your shower.”

Eric stood there for a few seconds, looking at Orlando and debated trying to make another attempt at making up. Finally he turned and headed for the shower.

He’d expected Eric to say something else and was honestly surprised when Eric just walked away. Orlando peeked at Eric’s retreating form through his fingers, his shoulders were a little rounded and his head was actually hanging down.

Christ. Can’t even be properly pissed at him. It’s like kicking a giant teddy bear.

And he had every right to be pissed! Didn’t he? Would staying in L.A. have been so fucking bad? Would it?

No, Eric had to make a production of it. Drag them both through the fucking mountains, trying a shortcut and getting them lost and that piece of shit car of his had broken down. And now they were stuck in the middle of fucking no where at some hotel that would have been too flashy for Elvis, and no fucking way out until the Porsche was fixed. Because Orlando knew that there was no way in hell Eric was leaving his car behind. And why?

Because Eric was trying to do something nice for you. Because he loves you. You asshole.

“Ah fuck,” Orlando groaned, cradling his face in his hands. He had just kicked a giant teddy bear.


The towels were all bright poppy red, but looked fluffy and soft. Mercifully the bathroom fixtures and tiles were white. Eric cranked on the hot water and quickly undressed as the bathroom filled with steam.

His arms were covered in grease from trying to fix the Porsche and it took some furious scrubbing to get them clean. After he’d rinsed all the soap away, Eric pressed his body to the cool tile and let it support his weight. Their mini vacation had turned to shit. Orlando was pissed at him and they were stuck in this cheap rip-off of a 1960s Vegas show of a hotel room.

OK, it wasn’t cheap.

Far from it. Eric had nearly dropped his credit card instead of handing it to the clerk when he’d heard the price.

“It is one of our best theme rooms,” the clerk had offered. “And, it is the Honeymoon Suite”

Right. Eric didn’t even know what a theme room was, but he did know what a Honeymoon suite was and he seriously doubted anything like honeymoon activities were going to be happening.

Eric turned off the water and climbed out of the shower, grabbing one of the thick towels and dried off. Something had been bothering Orlando long before they ended up here. He’d heard it in his voice when they spoke nightly on the phone. And when he got home Eric could see it in the stiff way Orlando held himself and the felt the uneasiness in his body when he hugged him. And worse, in his sleep. Orlando had always slept all over Eric and their bed. Arms and legs spread to each of the four corners. But the last few nights, Orlando had been curled up, tucked in on himself.

He’d thought that the lack of time together had been the problem and that this little trip would be just what Orlando needed. He hadn’t thought that Orlando would go completely apeshit when the car broke down and to not be speaking to him. In the five years they’d been together, they had never argued over something as stupid as they did today.

He expected Orlando to be asleep by the time he finished in the shower. It wasn’t a happy thought, he’d rather deal with this problem, whatever it was right away, but maybe sleep would improve Orlando’s mood. In the morning, Orlando would tell him what was wrong whether he wanted to or not.


Cracking the door quietly, Eric peered into the room. To his surprise, Orlando wasn’t asleep. He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the huge bed. He was reading something, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose and he’d changed into a pair of plaid flannel sleep pants and a matching red long sleeved t-shirt. He loved when Orlando wore his glasses and was secretly sorry he only needed them for reading. He still looked tense and a bit hunched in on himself, but he looked up and smiled, even if it was nervously, at Eric.

He tossed the magazine away and held up a green bottle. “Peace?”

Dropping his towel in favor of the offered beer, Eric grinned and took a sip. It was quite possibly the worst beer he’d ever tasted and his face showed it. What the hell kind of beer was it? The label was silver with red and gold trim, strangely matching the room. “Jingle Bell Beer?”

Orlando giggled softly. “Sorry, it’s all there was in the mini bar.”

“S’ok,” Eric smiled. He grabbed a grabbed a pair of boxers out of his overnight bag, pulled them on and sat on the bed. He waited for Orlando to climb on top of him or at least to move next to him.

Orlando had removed his glasses and was playing with the hem of his pant leg, not looking at Eric. He reached out, cupping the side of Orlando’s face and stroking his cheek with his thumb. “What’s going on? You alright?”

“I’m sorry I was such a prick.”

“You weren’t-”

“Yes. I was,” Orlando insisted. “And I’m sorry.”

Eric leaned back against the pillowed headboard and grabbed Orlando, pulling him into his arms and kissing his temple. “I’m sorry too.”

“For what?”

“For making you come on a trip when you wanted to stay home. For ruining our time off-“

Orlando grabbed Eric’s face, closing his thumb and forefinger on Eric’s cheeks and squeezing until Eric looks like a goldfish. “Shut up,” he said softly and kissed Eric’s forced pout. Eric’s smile was more than a little lopsided between Orlando’s pinching fingers, but genuine. Orlando giggled and let go of Eric’s face and hugged him tightly.

“We’re together and that’s all I really wanted. That’s the important part. I’ve just been a little uptight-”

“A little?”

“Shuttup,” Orlando smiled then shrugged, “the holidays and all,” he ducked his head, hiding his sudden blush, “and I’ve missed you. Makes me cranky.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Eric murmured into Orlando’s messy hair. “It seems like forever since we…well…anything.”

Eric felt the change in Orlando. He sagged a little against Eric, as if a physical weight had been lifted. Eric held him, leaning back on the bed, but not letting go and gently stroked his back, watching as Orlando insinuated his legs round Eric’s. “You weren’t…worried about…us, were you?”

“No, not really,” Orlando hedged and hid his face, his blush growing even brighter.

“Not really?” Eric smiled at the embarrassed cheek pressing against his chest. “Even when we’re apart, all I think about is the next time we’ll see each other. You have nothing to worry about. Ever.”

Warmth flooded him with Eric’s reassurance. Even without him saying or asking for it, Eric knew what he needed. He started to feel centered again, balanced. He didn’t think of himself as needy or insecure, but he’d have been lying if he’d said that a few times he had been concerned about their relationship. The tension from the day and the last few weeks drained from Orlando and he drooped sleepily in Eric’s arms.

“We’ll find a way to be together more next year, I promise,” Eric whispered against his forehead. “Whatever it takes.” He pulled Orlando’s face to his and kissed him gently and deeply. “OK?”

“Ok,” Orlando smiled.

“And I’ll make all this up to you,” Eric nuzzled into Orlando’s neck. His hands skimmed over Orlando’s back, fingertips slipping under the waistband of his pants.

“Nothing to make up for,” Orlando whispered. Eric nibbled at his ear. “But if it makes you feel better, feel free to have a go.”

“I dragged you on this trip when you wanted to stay home. Insisted we take the Porsche, then it broke down.” He kissed along Orlando’s jaw and throat as he spoke.

“Don’t forget comparing me to a one-eyed retarded monkey,” Orlando sighed and tilted his head back.

“Only your map reading skills.” Nipping along Orlando’s shoulder, Eric maneuvered Orlando fully on top of his body. He slid his hands down over Orlando’s back, resting just above Orlando’s ass.

Orlando moaned softly as Eric’s mouth moved over his pulse. He shivered, his body reacting quickly to Eric’s simple touches. He was almost embarrassed. But, Christ, it’s been so long.

Eric was simply pleased.

“W-well, if you hadn’t gotten us lost…”

Eric tugged at their pants, pushing them down far enough so his cock and Orlando’s came in contact.

“Oh Jesus, that’s it,” Orlando groaned. He yanked his t-shirt over his head, leaving one arm still in its sleeve in his rush. Orlando’s cock became fully hard as it slipped along Eric’s growing erection.

“If you hadn’t been whining about how long it was taking to get to Tahoe, I wouldn’t have tried the shortcut.” Eric slid his thigh between Orlando’s legs, rubbing slowly against Orlando’s balls. “And then you threw the TomTom out the window.”

Fingers slid along his crease, pressing in. Orlando arched, pushing his ass up to meet Eric’s fingers. “Cause TomTom…ngh…is an arrogant bastard.”

“Still,” Eric panted. “Probably would have gotten here sooner…” Eric’s sentence disintegrated into a moan. Done with playful arguing, Eric growled, “Do that again.”

Orlando smiled as he thrust his hips, grinding their cocks together and gently bit Eric’s shoulder. His mouth slid along Orlando’s neck, “This is going to be the fastest make-up sex in history if you keep rubbing on me like that.”

“Don’t care, just want to come with you,” Orlando moaned. He lifted his head to rest his lips on Eric’s and smiled against them before kissing him, deeply.

Eric’s muscles tightened, his body tensing, close to climax. He groaned into the kiss, twisting his tongue around Orlando’s and he gripped the back of Orlando’s neck. Orlando pushed one thigh up on the bed, spreading himself for Eric’s searching fingers and whimpered as his fingers found the sensitive skin behind his balls.

“Come on,” Eric whispered and pressed his index finger to Orlando’s hole. “C’mon.”

Orlando cried out and came, warmth coating their stomachs. And with a loud grunt, Eric followed him over.

“Oh my,” Orlando mumbled into Eric’s sweaty neck. “Think I needed that.”

“Me too.”

Orlando peeled himself off Eric and shucked his sleep pants off completely, along with the shirt hanging from his hand. Eric kicked his boxers aside as he walked to the bathroom and got a warm washcloth to clean them both.

“Jesus, the bathroom all red too?”

“Just the towels,” Eric chuckled.

Orlando threw back the red velvet comforter and slid, naked between the gold satin sheets. He patted the spot next to him and Eric climbed in next to him, tucking Orlando tight under his arm.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

~ Next Day ~

Orlando woke just before eleven to the sound of Eric swearing. He was being very quiet about it, but Orlando could still hear him as he crawled out of bed. The very top of Eric’s head was visible above the back of the couch he was sitting in front of.


Orlando picked up his pants from last night and examined them. Surprised that they’d made it through clean, he pulled them on; the shirt hadn’t faired as well and he skipped it. Scratching his belly, he wandered over to the white couch that was placed in front of the electric fireplace, climbed over the back and kissed the top of Eric’s head, just as Eric flipped his middle finger at a game of solitaire he’d laid out on the floor. Eric hated losing at cards, even to himself.


“Yes,” Eric bit back testily.

“Sure you’re playing with a full deck?” Orlando barely managed to get his question out without sniggering.

If it wasn’t so good to hear Orlando laughing Eric might have groaned out loud. Instead, he reached behind him and pulled Orlando from the couch into his lap. “That really sucked,” Eric grinned.

“Yeah,” Orlando laughed and wiggled, draping himself across Eric’s folded legs. “I know it did.” And he started laughing again anyway.

After his giggle fit passed, Eric asked, “Hungry? We can order room service.”

“Starving. You didn’t wait for me to wake up, did you?”

“Uh huh,” Eric said and stroked his fingers through Orlando’s hair.

“You shouldn’t have.”

“You might be right. I’ve been up for a while and I’m so fucking hungry I could eat your foot. But I’m tired of eating without you.”

Orlando hid his sappy smile in Eric’s throat. “Why’d you get up so early?”

“I went to check on the car, find out how long it was going to take to fix. See when we can get out of here. They have to order a part. So, we’re here for a couple of days. At least.”

“That’s fine,” Orlando said. “This place is starting to grow on me. Like mold.”

“Speaking of mold, you stink. Get in the shower and I’ll call room service.”

Orlando shuddered, fearful of what the food in this place would be like. “Are you sure we shouldn’t go out?”

“Don’t worry, the décor may suck, but the food sounds good.”

“One of everything then, please,” Orlando chirped. He jumped to his feet, gave Eric a swift kiss and headed for the shower.


He’d ordered a huge selection of food and was fooling with the row of switches on the wall when Eric discovered a fifty inch HD flat screen television. With a simple flick the screen descended from a hiding spot in wall over the fireplace. In the bedside stand he found a remote and started flipping through the various menus.


The On Demand feature had Christmas shows. He picked Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town and sat on the couch to wait for Orlando.

Orlando strolled out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, toweling his hair and stark naked. And just in time to see Eric throw a crisp at the television and grumble, “Peckerhead.”

The Burgermeister Meisterburger was currently stomping around singing “There Will Be No More Toymakers to the King”. Eric really did enjoy the claymation Christmas specials from his youth. He also enjoyed talking to the characters and commenting on their behavior. Shaking his head, Orlando pulled on his favorite pair of old jeans and a t-shirt with more holes than fabric. Watching Eric watch TV was more fun than anything being broadcasted.

Three food trolleys sat near the door with covered dishes. Lifting the first cover Orlando found a huge club sandwich with pickle and an empty spot where crisps should be. He turned his head to Eric and raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” Eric grinned sheepishly. “I couldn’t wait. There’s another club on there somewhere. With crisps.”

The other cart held selection of different beers, none of them Jingle Bell Beer and the third cart held desserts. “Catch.” Orlando plucked up two beers, tossed them to Eric, and then grabbed the club sandwich platters up and brought them to the couch. Eric took them and Orlando plopped down next to him on the couch.

“What’re we watching? They got any porn?”

“Just Christmas and just straight,” Eric said around a mouth full of club sandwich. He pried off the beer caps and handed one to Orlando. “Santa and his Ho Ho Hos

Orlando grimaced and took a gulp of beer. “No Holiday Tail? Holiday Inn His Butt? Toys in Boyland? How the Gay Stole Christmas? Can I have your pickle?”

Eric handed over the pickle and stole an extra crisp from Orlando’s plate. “Been spending a bit of time on line, dear?”

“Well, I…you see…”

“How about Elf?” Eric chuckled and kissed his temple.

…Several beers and several unflattering comparisons between Legolas the Mirkwood Elf and Buddy the Christmas Elf later…

Just as the movie ended, there was a soft knock at the door.

“Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?” Orlando laughed. “You get it?” he asked as he left couch and walked to the bathroom.


Eric drank his beer as he walked, finishing just in time to not walk into the wall. Behind the closed door he found a large gold, not a surprise, gift basket with a large red bow. Holding the basket with one hand, Eric pulled a small card out of the tissue paper.

Orlando wandered back into the room, hiccupping softly. “What was it?”

“A gift basket and a note of congratulations on our wedding. Guess it comes with the room.”

“Ooh! What’s in it?” Orlando settled happily next to Eric, leaning against him. “Chocolate?”

Eric pulled apart the shiny red wrapping and peered into the basket. “Hmmm…yes, some chocolate, here,” he handed the candy to Orlando without looking up. “Lube, bubble bath. Oh! Dibs on the candy underwear!”


He held up a square package that held what looked like red cellophane and some string. “Candy underwear.”

Orlando snorted and grabbed the package from Eric’s hands. “Ridiculous,” he laughed and tossed them away.

Eric slid a hand up the inside of Orlando’s thigh, fingers catching in the frayed rip along the seam. “I’ll give you ten thousand dollars if you wear them.”

“You’re drunk,” Orlando snorted and popped a piece of chocolate into his mouth. He quieted when he saw the serious look on Eric’s face and felt the insistent stroking of his fingers. “W-why?”

Rolling his eyes, Eric answered, “Because I think a peppermint butt cheek would be a nice dessert.”

He blushed bright pink and picked the candy underpants back up and whispered, “OK.” He cleared his throat and said “You have an unhealthy obsession with my ass.”

“I like your ass,” Eric stated as he rummaged in the basket. “What’s unhealthy about that?”

“Ten thousand dollars?” Orlando’s eye brows disappeared under his hair.

“Pfft. Chump change for that lovely wee arse of yours.”

“Definitely drunk.” Orlando smiled and bumped his shoulder into Eric’s.

He kissed Orlando’s temple. “Hope they melt all over you so I can lick you clean.”

Orlando shivered and squirmed closer to Eric. “If I have to wear candy pants, what’re you wearing?”

“Weeelllll,” Eric said and fished around in the basket. He yanked out a g-string and let it dangle from his index finger. “I could wear this.”

“Is that…” Orlando lifted the triangle of marabou trimmed red velvet and peered at it. “A Santa hat?”

“S’pose my cock goes in there.”

“That is not right,” Orlando huffed. “Putting your chap in Santa’s hat.”

“The only other thing is the candy nipple tassels and even though I’ve put on a couple of pounds, I don’t think I have the manboobs to pull off tassels. Off with you, go put on your candy panties.”

Orlando swayed a little and giggled as he walked to the bathroom, swinging the small package in his hand and thinking he’d wear Queen Elizabeth’s coronation gown if Eric asked him to.


“Come on, Orlando. What’s taking so long?” Eric tugged at the g-string that was trying its damndest to floss his butt.

The bathroom door opened an inch; one brown eye peered out at Eric. “I don’t want to. These don’t look right.”

“Don’t be such a candy ass.”

Eric snorted loudly, slapping his hand on his thigh as he laughed at his own joke. The one brown eye narrowed in his direction and Eric quickly composed himself. “Could you look any stupider than I do? Eric held his arms out and turned in a circle, displaying his red velvet Santa hat g-string.

And white socks.

“The socks don’t help. At all. Take them off or I’m staying in here.”

Orlando opened the door a little wider, but he didn’t come out. “You look funnier, but oddly hot. But these don’t look right. Look kinda like a cellophane loin cloth.”

“I don’t care what they look like,” Eric grumbled. He stepped on the toes of his socks, pulling them off and adjusted his hat. “I want to eat them, not look at them.”

Orlando walked out of the bathroom, hands in front of his crotch and crinkling with every step.

“Hmmm,” Eric murmured his hand on his chin, appraising. “More like a nappy than a loincloth. Not very sexy are they?”

“That’s it, I’m taking these off.”

He grabbed for the string holding the edible underwear over his hips, but Eric grabbed his hands and pulled them behind Orlando’s back. “You’re sexy no matter what you’re wearing. And besides, you already said I looked hot.” Eric leaned into Orlando, bending him backwards, holding his wrists in place at the small of his back. He nipped at Orlando’s lips, “Can’t take that back.”

“I said,” Orlando breathed heavily, fighting his arousal. “Oddly hot. There’s a difference.”

“Hot is hot,” Eric said and stood up straight, bringing Orlando with him. “And judging by the candy coated hard on sticking to my leg, I think you agree.”

“Fine, I’m hard for you. Proud?”


His grin grew larger and filthier as his lips neared Orlando’s. Just to see how hard Eric’s leer could make him, Orlando leaned backwards, trusting in Eric to hold him up.

“You’re very flexible,” Eric murmured, licking out at Orlando’s lips. “I like that in a guy.”

Still bending backward, Orlando started to respond, but Eric moved too fast for him and all Orlando could do was moan around Eric’s tongue. He licked into Orlando’s mouth, each stroke of his tongue making him whimper and relaxing more in Eric’s grip, giving in. Slowly, Eric straightened his back, pulling Orlando with him and without breaking the kiss.

As Eric slowly fucked his mouth with his tongue, Orlando rocked his hips helplessly; pressing himself against Eric’s thigh. Eric broke the kiss and licked a warm path down Orlando’s arched neck. Reaching his collar bone Eric kissed along the ridge, and moved up to suck at the hollow of Orlando’s throat.

“Damn it,” Eric muttered looking between them.


“You’ve humped all the candy undies onto my leg.”

“Sorry,” Orlando answered and latched on to an earlobe.

“You’re not sorry at all. I can tell by the way you’re still humping my leg.” Orlando licked the edge of Eric’s ear, warm breath tickling as he laughed. “Get on your knees. Right now. I want that peppermint butt cheek before you do something to ruin that too.”

Orlando moved quickly to the bear skin rug in front of fire and got on all fours, Eric right behind him.

Slowly, he leaned over Orlando’s upturned ass and breathed over the thin red candy. It melted from the heat of his breath, molding itself to Orlando’s ass. “Oh my god,” Eric moaned.

“What? What’d it do?” Orlando looked over his shoulder and reached back towards his butt.

“No touchy.” Eric smacked his hand away. It was like looking on the two most perfect red delicious apples he’d ever seen. Gave new meaning to the phrase ‘apple cheeked’. He blew warm along the cleft, his cock twitching as he watched the candy slide into Orlando’s crease.

“Feels funny.”

“How’s this feel?” Eric rumbled and grabbed Orlando’s thighs. He licked a long, slow deep path between his cheeks, the tip of his tongue lingering on Orlando’s hole, circling and pressing.

“Oh fuck,” Orlando cried out and went down on his elbows.

Just behind Orlando’s balls, Eric sucked the sticky candy from the soft skin.

“Eric!” Orlando shrieked and tried to wiggle away.

Knowing he’d hit Orlando’s biggest hot spot, Eric wrapped his arms around Orlando’s thighs and held him tight and licked his perineum again. Orlando moaned loudly and his arms collapsed under him, his face lying on the floor. Smiling, Eric licked at the curve of one cheek, peppermint coating his lips and tongue. “Not so funny now, is it?”


The peppermint candy dissolved quickly and easily under Eric’s eager mouth. Alternating tiny licks with broad swipes of his tongue, soft sucking kisses with ones that left marks, Eric soon had Orlando shaking. His hips rotated and pushed backwards, urging Eric to go deeper. Orlando’s fingers dug into the bear rug, twisting the fibers until they broke.

Orlando’s ass was candy free in a disappointingly short amount of time, but Eric didn’t see that as a good reason to stop. He held Orlando’s hips, steadying him as Eric pushed his tongue inside Orlando. His arms flailed at his sides, but Orlando couldn’t form any words, only sounds, throaty moans and desperate growls.

“You make the filthiest sounds,” Eric panted. “Really fucking missed that.”

Eric buried his face in Orlando’s ass, sucking gently, listening for the next sound from Orlando. And there it was again. A soft keen that grew into a raw moan. His name, whispered but sounding rougher than normal.

“Eric, please.”

He released Orlando’s legs, smiling at the shivers that ran over Orlando’s skin and the tight curl of his toes.

Orlando looked over his shoulder, a slow sexy smile building on his face. “That is very un-Christmas like.” His eyes drifted down to Eric’s crotch and the obscene red velvet tent his cock had made out of the Santa hat g-string.

Hooking his thumbs in the g-string, Eric pulled off the Santa hat. “So, tell me little boy, have you been naughty or nice this year?”

“Eric, that is just wrong.” He gave a disapproving frown, but giggled too.

He wrapped his fingers around his cock, stroking it slowly and leaned over to kiss Orlando’s lower back. Kissing his way up Orlando’s spine, Eric growled, “Come sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas.”

“You,” Orlando whispered. “Missed you. Missed this.”

“Me too.” Eric smiled and kissed him. Orlando rose to his knees as Eric slid his hands up Orlando’s sides and around his chest, and pulled him back to lean against his chest. He kissed and licked at the pulse jumping in Orlando’s throat as he searched for the bottle of lube he’d pulled out of the basket.

“That,” Orlando panted, “t-that had better not be peppermint lube.”

“I don’t think so.” He sniffed the bottle and poured some over his fingers. “Smells plain.”

Eric’s hand moved slowly over Orlando’s hip, sliding in the thin layer of sweat that had formed on his skin. His long fingers barely touched the side of Orlando’s cock before they slipped further down, between Orlando’s spread thighs. He stroked the skin behind Orlando’s balls and Orlando’s body shuddered, nestling Eric’s cock between his cheeks. And Eric slipped two fingers inside him.

“Come on, baby. Move on me.”

Legs spread over Eric’s; Orlando braced his knees on the floor and rocked his hips, sliding Eric’s cock in the cleft of his ass and pushing Eric’s fingers deeper. Eric moved in counterpoint, slowly, groaning right below Orlando’s ear, arm tightening around his waist.

“Christ, Eric,” Orlando moaned. He turned his head into Eric’s neck, biting as Eric slid two fingers in him. “If you don’t fuck me soon, I’m taking back all your Christmas presents.”

Eric gasped in mock horror. “Not the Torchwood DVDs!”

“Yes, the…how did you know…ohgod! Do that again.”

Smiling, Eric pressed his fingers deeper, pressing against Orlando’s prostate. Eric groaned roughly against Orlando’s ear, his control starting to slip.

Pulling his fingers free and shifting their bodies a bit, Eric pushed his cock inside Orlando. Orlando’s back bent, his head falling back onto Eric’s shoulder. He reached behind him, gripping Eric’s thighs. Eric buried his face in Orlando’s neck and wrapped his arms around his chest and waist, thrusting slowly.

“Oh yeah, fuck, that’s good,” Orlando panted.

The tight hold they had on each other didn’t allow for a huge amount of movement. Just short, deep invasions of Eric’s cock, that never completely left his body, never gave Orlando a chance to take a breath before he was filled again. Everything narrowed to Eric.

Eric’s arms around him.

Eric’s mouth on his neck.

Eric’s breath, hot and ragged in his ear.

Eric, buried so deep in his body they could barely move or breathe.

Eric sucked furiously on the skin of his neck. He grabbed Orlando’s cock, and fisted it hard.

“Come with me,” Eric growled.

“Ohgod, Eric,” Orlando shuddered and climaxed as Eric pushed in deep and came inside him. Eric shook as Orlando clenched around him.

Orlando smiled at the soft nuzzling by his ear. He reached up and stroked the back of Eric’s neck.

“Why am I covered in red gunk? I thought you were supposed to eat it.”

“Mmmm. I did. That’s what you left on my leg.” Eric peered over Orlando’s shoulder. Melted red candy was smeared over Eric’s thigh and up and down Orlando. “I guess it spread around.”

“Let’s get in the Jacuzzi. Bring the bubble bath from the gift basket.”


Orlando blew a mountain of bubbles over the edge of the Jacuzzi. “Think you went a little overboard.”

“You think?” Eric asked as he beat the suds down. “Can’t even see you. Feel you, stop that with your toes, but can’t see you.”

He slid across the large tub and straddled Eric’s legs. “Better?”


Eric stroked the side of Orlando’s face and pulled him close for a kiss. Orlando kissed the edge of Eric’s jaw and down the side of his neck. Eric closed his eyes and let his head fall back to rest on the wall, his fingers trailing down Orlando’s back and legs.

“I missed this the most,” Orlando murmured.


“No, idiot,” Orlando smiled against his neck. “Quiet time. Just you and me and silence except for your heartbeat and breathing.

He hugged Orlando tighter. “Then we’ll just have to make sure we have more of them.”



“Can we stay here? Even after the Porsche is fixed?”

Eric’s forehead wrinkled and he looked at Orlando. “You want to stay here? Not go to Tahoe?”

“No distractions, except for you and your Santa hat. It’s quiet, except for your snoring.”

“And my own fucking comedy show in my own room,” Eric added sarcastically.

Orlando snorted and bit Eric’s chest gently. “So, can we?”

“We can do whatever you want.”

- finis –
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September 2010

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